Lately I have been getting this sneaky feeling that I have been growing up without me noticing or giving it much thought. I have always felt stuck in the past and resisted growing up or taking responsibility. But looks like it is happening with or without me acknowledging it.
I hadn't thought much about influencing youngsters before, because so far I was the youngster. I remember how my life and attitude towards life changed because I met some of my 'seniors' in that vulnerable period of my life. The period of life, when I took everything in like a sponge. I was always drawn towards people who wanted to do something more than just a 9-5 job. Who were passionate about what they did, and who always wanted to make a difference. They inspired me and I wanted to imitate them. Eventually I may not have ended up doing exactly what they did, but in many ways they defined my future direction in life.
And in a similar way, when the other day a junior colleague asked me why I do what I do, I did not hesitate telling him that it is because I loved what I did. Interestingly he told me he is doing what he is doing for the 'money', to which my response was
'Money should be the by-product of doing what you love, not the objective'.
He gave me a skeptical look. Our conversation was cut off due to someone else walking into the room, but I hope he will process what I said in his own time, and not just discard it as just another grown up lecture.
The conversation made me realise, that I have the power to influence and affect others around me, and some of them are six, seven or even ten years younger than me. When I speak to them, they look up to me. I am no longer just a friend or a colleague, who is making an off handed remark. But my words are shaping their future even if it is in smallish way.
Having said that, it is also easy to fall into the misconception that as a grown-up we know everything and that we know better than the youngsters. I could begin to take myself too seriously and start lecturing, something that I have hated about some of the grown-ups that I happen to know.
So, all in all this phase of transitioning into a grown-up so to speak is a dangerous one. And something I didn't think I would have to think about quite this early in life! But there is a hidden responsibility that comes with it, and I guess I always have to remember (as wtp reminded me today) that
'To be able to teach, you have to be able to learn'.
