Recently, I read a book which made me spiral down the low path. But the good thing is, it made me think.
Actually, upon reading a few pages, I decided to take the easy way out and see the movie instead. But after seeing it, something about the movie did not quite feel right, and so I just read the book. And that is when I realised what the problem with the movie was. It's 'happy ending' seemed rather out of place for the main character of the story.
I am talking about 'Miss Holiday Golightly, Travelling' from 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'. And although this is a classic story, for some reason I had never read it before. Because if I had, I would have learnt something from it and maybe have rectified my own personality little by little over the years. But that did not happen, and so here I am, a little broken, but hopefully nothing that cannot be glued back in time.
Holly's elusive idea of Breakfast at Tiffany's is no different from my constant search for a home. The breakfast that she never really will have, the home that I will never find. The idea of that perfect place which is in our heads, cannot exist in reality because of the eternal contradiction that if it is perfect, it must be the end. And we don't want the journey to end. We want to be 'travelling' forever.
And I don't know if it is part and parcel of such characters, but the other (unfortunate) resemblance between Holly and me is our attitude towards love and freedom.
I have often called myself commitment phobic. But never really dissected it's meaning to the core. But now I understand that it is not falling in love that I have ever been afraid of - in fact that has been my way of life forever. Rather, it is the state of being in (a steady state kind of) love which has always been the tough one for me.
To top that, the commitment, which is more towards being true to the rules which the society defines as 'being in love' makes it (for us, I think) tiring. The phobia I guess is really for the word 'commitment' which makes me feel like I am being forced to do something as opposed to doing something because I choose to do so on an everyday basis.
I think Holly and me, we both grew up with the notion that love should set you free, not tie you down. And that, unfortunately is not quite how it works in real life. And one reason for that maybe is that it is not cool to question and discuss your true feelings with your loved ones. Because apparently even asking the question aloud is a step towards betrayal. But what indeed make relationships so fragile?
Anyways, the reason I decided to share these thoughts on this platform really was to emphasise :
- Firstly, the difference that books or stories which make you think, can really make in your life. (This message is more for myself than for anyone else really. I need to read more and perhaps venture outside my comfort zone of reading as well)
- Secondly, to not get bogged down with words and their meanings and not let someone else's definition of being in a relationship spoil mine.
- Thirdly, to remember that while falling in love (all kinds) may well be automatic, being in love needs effort, understanding and patience. Though I have always been a passionate person, I don't think I have done any justice to the virtue of patience. I need to work on that.
And with that I will leave you all to explore and celebrate in your own way, the week that will culminate into a single representative day of love. Happy St. Valentine's.
Actually, upon reading a few pages, I decided to take the easy way out and see the movie instead. But after seeing it, something about the movie did not quite feel right, and so I just read the book. And that is when I realised what the problem with the movie was. It's 'happy ending' seemed rather out of place for the main character of the story.
I am talking about 'Miss Holiday Golightly, Travelling' from 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'. And although this is a classic story, for some reason I had never read it before. Because if I had, I would have learnt something from it and maybe have rectified my own personality little by little over the years. But that did not happen, and so here I am, a little broken, but hopefully nothing that cannot be glued back in time.
Holly's elusive idea of Breakfast at Tiffany's is no different from my constant search for a home. The breakfast that she never really will have, the home that I will never find. The idea of that perfect place which is in our heads, cannot exist in reality because of the eternal contradiction that if it is perfect, it must be the end. And we don't want the journey to end. We want to be 'travelling' forever.
And I don't know if it is part and parcel of such characters, but the other (unfortunate) resemblance between Holly and me is our attitude towards love and freedom.
I have often called myself commitment phobic. But never really dissected it's meaning to the core. But now I understand that it is not falling in love that I have ever been afraid of - in fact that has been my way of life forever. Rather, it is the state of being in (a steady state kind of) love which has always been the tough one for me.
To top that, the commitment, which is more towards being true to the rules which the society defines as 'being in love' makes it (for us, I think) tiring. The phobia I guess is really for the word 'commitment' which makes me feel like I am being forced to do something as opposed to doing something because I choose to do so on an everyday basis.
I think Holly and me, we both grew up with the notion that love should set you free, not tie you down. And that, unfortunately is not quite how it works in real life. And one reason for that maybe is that it is not cool to question and discuss your true feelings with your loved ones. Because apparently even asking the question aloud is a step towards betrayal. But what indeed make relationships so fragile?
Anyways, the reason I decided to share these thoughts on this platform really was to emphasise :
- Firstly, the difference that books or stories which make you think, can really make in your life. (This message is more for myself than for anyone else really. I need to read more and perhaps venture outside my comfort zone of reading as well)
- Secondly, to not get bogged down with words and their meanings and not let someone else's definition of being in a relationship spoil mine.
- Thirdly, to remember that while falling in love (all kinds) may well be automatic, being in love needs effort, understanding and patience. Though I have always been a passionate person, I don't think I have done any justice to the virtue of patience. I need to work on that.
And with that I will leave you all to explore and celebrate in your own way, the week that will culminate into a single representative day of love. Happy St. Valentine's.
